The Columbia Heart Beat

Don't tow me, bro

COLUMBIA, Mo  7/9/17 (Beet Bite) -- A yellow suctioning device that looks like Sponge Bob promises to close a rising budget deficit at Columbia City Hall, city manager Mike Matthes says. 

" The Barnacle makes great financial sense," Matthes explained in a rare exclusive interview with the Heart Beat.   "It may sound like a Sponge Bob character, but I urge people with unpaid parking tickets to take the Barnacle very, very seriously."

A high-tech version of the dreaded tire boot, the Barnacle is a flat windshield cover that prevents drivers from seeing the road .    It saves on towing costs and forces unpaid parking fines out of even the most crabby claws. 

Armed with alarms and sensors, the device is named after the marine animal that encrusts ships with its hard-to-remove shell.    Sho...