UP/DOWN FILMFEST: School board meets to raise, then lower taxes

COLUMBIA, 8/30/10  (PARODY) --  A patented bicycle specially designed for back-pedaling was seen leaving Columbia Public Schools headquarters Friday afternoon

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At the Boone County Government building, a messenger wearing a "Tendep" company t-shirt got off the bike and delivered papers marked "erroneous tax levy data." 

 

She picked up a folder marked "corrected tax levy data" and pedaled back to CPS. 

 

Boone County assessor Tom Schauwecker met the peddling messenger at the door, smiling to cameras as he handed over the correct information. 

 

In the papers, a problem Boone County Clerk Wendy Noren described as "complicated" prompted the Columbia School Board to pedal back its Thursday tax increase on Friday, cutting it almost in half. 

 

Instead, Assessor Schauwecker -- who noticed the complications, contradictions, and contra-indications -- said he was raising assessed valuations on average folks but leaving them untouched -- perhaps even lowering them -- for big developers. 

 

"Lots of developers are hurting," the assessor assessed.  "We have to keep their assessed valuations down so they can struggle through and help bring back the economy.  We need to step up.  They need our help.  So do our schools.  I see it as a win-win." 

 

Giving the public a welcome 4 days notice to attend a special session on the tax rate decrease, the Board will meet at 7:30 am Tuesday (tomorrow, August 31) to consider the (surprise!) reduction. 

 

Though loud laughter was heard coming from a corner office at the County building as the messenger pedaled away, the entire episode was a remarkable example of inter-agency recuper -- er, cooperation.

Warning:  The article above contains parody -- or at least, we hope it's parody.